The Final Countdown

5 days until I take the biggest test of my life. Sometimes I feel like I am going to rock it and sometimes (most times) I worry about failing.

Failure is my ultimate enemy and my worst nightmare. I loathe failing at anything - I am competitive and driven and I usually succeed in the things that I try. I ran a marathon after the orthopedic surgeon told me I'd never be a marathon runner. I applied (and was accepted) to multiple vet schools after my undergrad advisor gently suggested choosing another career path. I'm currently studying using VetPrep to study for boards, in addition to some other reading materials. It is a bank of 4000+ questions (about 1/3 or so are repeats) that you do as separate practice questions or timed 30 question exams. It tracks your percentage as you go through and tracks your strengths and weakness by species and by category (cardio, derm, anesthesia, toxicology, etc). Up until I got back from the honeymoon 3 weeks ago, I was at a stellar 15% or so. I finally made it to 85% today, with only 600 or so questions to go... KJ made a joke the other day about me not sleeping until I go to that 100% because that is the type of person that I am. Its so true. I'm a freak when it comes to goals. Which is actually a problem sometimes because I get so caught up in accomplishing my goals that I lose track of having fun... not that this particular goal has any relation to fun. You get the point.

Anyway, I'm still alive and here. I can't wait to return to the real world. Im my head, I keep telling myself, "I'll do this when boards are over, I'll do that when boards are over."

I seriously can't wait to do laundry and clean the house. For real.

Whoa Fourth Year!

I can't believe it has been a month since I last posted! The year is flying by and I can hardly believe it is NOVEMBER! So much has happened!

The highlights:

1. KJ and I got married :) YAY!

2. We went on our honeymoon! YAY!

3. I chopped off all of my long, gorgeous, slightly obnoxious long hair and donated it to Wigs for Kids. YAY! My flowing locks that fell past my boobs are now chin length and angled so I feel like I have no hair, which is awesome after two years of growing it out for the wedding!

And now that we have been back in the swing of things for a couple of weeks, I can comfortably begin to freak out because I take boards in TWO WEEKS. So, in two weeks you will be seeing a ton more posts about fourth year adventures and animals and my next marathon. Maybe married life as well ;)

I'm on the diagnostic medicine rotation right now... meaning that I do necropsies everyday and pretend like I have a starring role on CSI: Vet Med. The beauty of it is that all my patients are dead and don't need weekend treatments.

And it happens to fall over Thanksgiving, meaning that I take boards Monday the 21st, I have Tuesday the 22nd off (all of the fourth years get two days off for boards and since mine is a Monday, I'll get a blissful day of freedom after the exam), and I go to school Wednesday the 21st. I figure I'll then drive home Thursday morning, enjoy an awesome, stress-free day with my family, enjoy some nice stress-free shopping on Friday, followed by a stress-free weekend. Then Dad has surgery on Monday, so I requested my first personal day off (you get 5 for the year). I get to be home for FIVE WHOLE DAYS. AND I don't have to worry about studying for boards anymore so I can be stress-free for the rest of the year... relatively speaking.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to be *almost* done with board studying. Its been looming out there on the horizon since we started vet school and it is finally *almost* here. I'm getting my butt in gear for the two week haul of cramming/learning and then its nothing but freedom to have a life again.

And send out those wedding thank-you notes...

Long Overdue... and Foster Pup

I can't remember the last time I blogged... which means it has been far too long. I finished a month long rotation on anesthesia and moved right into equine medicine and surgery. This meant that my "cushy" 7:15am-5pm hours turned into 5:30 or 5:45am to 6:30pm (or later) every day. Weekends were only 6am-12pm... but still, lots and lots of time spent at school and not a lot of time doing other things. Like wedding planning. I'm getting married a week from tomorrow. Holy sh*t. I'm excited, but nervous because the coming week is going to be busy!

Equine has been amazingly fun. Aside from the long hours, I've had a couple interesting cases and have had an awesome rotation group - and really awesome clinicians. This is the first rotation that I've really felt comfortable with the clinicians and can make jokes and feel more comfortable in my own skin. This is kind of ironic because equine medicine is what I am LEAST confident about - I definitely know infinitely times more about small animal medicine. Nevertheless, I have never laughed this much on any other rotation and our trio of clinicians are really great. Its a group of three younger guys that are really chill and laid back and not intimidating at all (as some equine folks can be). Us fourth years, on the other hand, are a group of four girls that are constantly giggling and cracking jokes - we try to be entertaining and not distracting!

On a side note, KJ and I are currently fostering little Ally, a small 12 pound long haired Dachshund mix. She presented to orthopedic surgery 6 weeks ago with bilateral angular front limb deformities with short ulnas. She was actually "walking" on her carpi - completely weight bearing, although she did like to sit up on her haunches like a meerkat. They performed a bilateral radial and ulnar osteotomy in order to correct the curved long bones and lengthen her ulnas. A few weeks later, she came back for recheck radiographs and she had a fracture across the most proximal screw on her left radius... so then they put on an external fixator. At that point, her new adoptive mom had just adopted a two year old child and was having back surgery, so she asked our rehab specialist if she could find a temporary foster home for Ally - they thought of KJ and I right away because we were frequent visitors during Ally's first two weeks after surgery and rehab.

So now Ally lives with us for awhile - we will have had her for one month tomorrow. Last night, we were sitting in the living room and KJ was sitting in the leather chair with Ben and I was on the couch with Ally on my lab, playing with her like a baby and talking to her, and he said, "You are getting attached...". I just looked at Ally and replied, "I know... but I just want her to know love". It will be so hard to give her back, but I just want her to know that so many people love her... how is that not the best gift you can give to someone - human or animal? She is an amazing little girl - a real fighter and she tries so hard - we can slowly see her little personality come out as she has started feeling better - she plays with toys that the big dogs throw around and they are too good of dogs to steal them back from her. It melts my heart to see how good our furballs are with her.

As good of a time as I've had with little Ally, I'm not sure fostering is for me - I get too attached and have a difficult time letting go :(

Workout Update... and Girl Fights

I have lots to update about my anesthesia rotation - but I still have two more weeks left, so during downtime this week, I'll catch up with that.

I decreased the amount of P90X to 3 times a week and started running and swimming again. Plus, since I've been on anesthesia, its been tough to find time to workout unless I do it at 9pm at night (hell no). But, as of now, I can do 5 whole pull ups now which is kind of awesome... my arms look super toned and I'm pretty sure I can kick anyone's ass now.

In fact (long side note), Saturday night, I found out that our "friends", that are getting married on the same day as us, were in town. Last week, the girl (fiance of our friend) sent me a facebook message asking me not believe any rumors about her and that she isn't the reason that they choose to get married on the same day, it was just their circumstances, etc etc etc etc blah blah blah blah. I haven't given the situation a thought for months, but here it was, being brought up again. The next night, KJ and a few of his friends got an email from the guy (who is actually our friend) saying the same thing and not to blame his fiance for anything and etc etc etc blah blah blah. My god, this drama is ridiculous.

So anyway, when I found out that they were in town, I was already drunk and watching Survivor play at the world famous Urbana Sweet Corn Festival (be jealous) and I decided I needed to kick someone's ass... namely hers. A minute later, Survivor finally played Eye of the Tiger... which got me super pumped up and I started practicing for the ass kicking that would ensue later that night in the event that we ran into them.

Now, I've never punched anyone in my life, nor would I normally want to - but this whole situation has caused people to lose friendships and other ridiculous awful drama that I want nothing to be a part of, but it keeps coming up and hurting people's feelings. However, I was thinking about none of this at the time - just that it would be fun to get in a girl fight.

Anyway, at some point during Eye of the Tiger, I turned around and saw A LOT of clinicians from my school/hospital just feet away from us... embarrassing but awesome at the same time. Eye of the Tiger ended and in my drunken state, I forgot that I even wanted to fight and I just wanted to go to the bar for something better than Miller Lite. All in all... a typical night.

Because of my new-found ass kicking abilities, I decided to sign up for a triathlon and kick figurative ass. It is October 2nd here in town - its only a sprint, but its been three years since my last one, so I need a shorty to get back into the swing of things. 325m swim, 14.5 mi bike, 3.1 mi run - awesome! I'm so excited to be doing another one - I'm planning on breaking 1:30 for sure (I'm afraid to get too ambitious) - but I heard T1 is a super long transition, since we are swimming in the rec center, so not sure how long that will take... but if you are in the area, you should sign up too :)

Lions and my other favorite patients

LIONS. Can you believe that in two weeks, I've had the opportunity to help out with not one, but two lions! A 15 year old lioness and a 22 year old lion to be exact. Both are living at the Exotic Feline Rescue in Indiana, and both were recently rescued from a "bad situation" in Texas a few weeks ago. For the first lionness, I was on Dentistry at that time and we did a double root canal on her left sided canines. To see a lion intubated and handled up close was incredible - since we didn't really get to assist with the root canal, we spent a lot of time taking pictures with the lionness - by her head, with her paws... super educational and productive, right? But awesome nonetheless. Her paws were much bigger than my hand... so we took pictures of that too.

It was refreshing to see the clinicians (including our head of surgery) down with the lion taking pictures on their phones - a lot of times so many of them walk around like nothing impresses them and that they've seen it all - but to see a simple lion make the most seasoned professionals act like children at the zoo is really cool. Our profession is so unpredictable and awesome - most MD's don't walk around with pictures of their favorite patients on their phones and can't entertain at parties with hilarious tales about their crazy patients. Well, maybe the latter is true - but if my doctor is walking around with a picture of me on his phone, I'll be a little alarmed!

Me on the other hand, have already accumulated lots of pictures of my favorites - my unforgettable Shy, who allowed me to put myself out there and fight for a dog I truly believed in and who never let me down; my lovely Lillian, a sweet 2 year old chocolate lab with aggressive hemangiosarcoma who wagged her tail and gave me kisses up until the minute she died; the two litters of puppies who were successfully delivered via c-section that we helped resuscitate and bring back to life; and the lions, two very large cats that made me marvel at their greatness and see that deep down, the clinicians are just like me - I know that in 20 years, patients like that will still impress me and veterinary medicine will never cease to amaze me.

Enough about lions. We got the results back from histopath about Bubs - NOT A MAST CELL TUMOR! Crazy inflammation, yes, but tumor, NO! Regardless, he does have a history of cancer, but at least we know it hasn't returned! My sweet, perfect boy is cancer-free. Since his incision wasn't able to be closed all the way, we have been doing bandage changes every other day. My bandaging skills have improved greatly and he is such an angel, that I was able to do it all by myself today while he just laid on the floor and literally fell asleep. What dog does that?!?!?

Have a lovely weekend - the end of summer is here...

Bubba and his Health Woes

Bubba has another mast cell tumor. This time, it is on his left rear paw, just proximal to his toes. In other words, a shit-tastic place to have a growing mass. I caught it early, thanks to the fact that his allergies are horrible this year and he has been so itchy all summer long that I've been keeping a close eye on the condition of his skin. We did an impression smear of the mass and tape preps of his reddened, alopecic patches of skin and diagnosed his mass as a mast cell tumor with a concurrent bacterial/yeast skin infection. The real vets verified that we were right and he's going in for surgery on wednesday for a lumpectomy.

The funny thing is, I just upped his dose of Benadryl this week due to his increased itching. His allergies have always been controlled with mere Benadryl (although it may be time to bring out a bigger gun in terms of medications), which was lovely since he has a history of mast cell tumors, and the Benadryl essentially kills two birds with one stone. But maybe I should have increased it earlier?

And since I'm on dentistry, I decided to check out his mouth today and see if he needed a dental as well since he's going to be under anesthesia anyway. Wouldn't you know it, he has a slab fracture on his right upper fourth premolar with chronic pulpal exposure. I feel like a failure as his mom. I should have noticed it much earlier, but he's never stopped eating meals or seemed to have an issue when chewing bones and treats, so I never suspected anything. Thus, he'll be having a tooth extraction on Wednesday as well. They'll also be zapping off some skin tags that he occasionally nibbles at to top it all off.

All in all, I feel like I failed my boy and should have been paying more attention before his skin started to get bad and when he broke his tooth. Damn it. I hate that my dog has cancer. Not that I would wish it on any other animal, God forbid, but he's just the best boy ever. I know everyone says that, but hes MY good boy. He makes me laugh out loud, he comforts me when I'm sad by resting his big head on my lap and letting me cry, he greets me at the door with great big toothy smiles like he couldn't be any happier than at that precise moment when I stepped through the door. He loves us with his whole heart and I know if given the chance, he would lay down his life for us. I know I'm anthropomorphizing him, but he truly is an incredible dog. He is actually sensitive - he blames himself when the other animals act up - when they do something wrong, he is the one that acts guilty, even though he has NEVER done anything wrong when we aren't in the house (You can't blame tiny teeth marks on him!)

This all just makes me realize that life is fleeting - Bubba isn't dying and he will be fine now... but I can't imagine our lives without him. I love you buddy, thanks for making my world that much better because I have you.

P90X

I'm going on week 3 of P90X - I haven't done it religiously everyday (I've only had time for 5/7 days a week because of the crazy schedule), so its been about three weeks or so since I started. And I'm starting to feel kind of awesome.

My arms were toned before, but they are looking slightly better (I HATE flabby arms!). My legs are a tiny bit skinnier, but I know they will never been chicken legs - I have muscular thighs and calves and that's never going to change! What I am most excited about is that my stomach is getting toned and I have hints of ab muscles! WOOOO! I noticed that I can do more during the workouts than when I started and I can finally do 2 whole pull-ups. Last summer, I was up to 3, but then the finger debacle happened, and I haven't been able to do any since then. So... its getting there.

Plus, today, I put on my first size 4 pair of dress pants ever. If you are a guy, this may not seem like a big deal, but I've been a steady size 6 for years. My first year of undergrad, since I wasn't swimming or working out that much, I had to bump up to size 8 (EEEEEEK) which was a huge wake up call. Rewind to 4 years earlier - I joined the track team my freshman year of high school and started off as a sprinter because I couldn't run longer distances if my life depended on it - despite being a really good athlete otherwise (swimming, softball, and volleyball). As high school went on, I "graduated" from the 100 to the 200... to the 400... to the 800... and then I actually graduated, so I stopped at the 800. The turning point was one track sprinting workout where I outlasted all our best sprinters - obviously I wasn't as fast, but I had the endurance that they lacked. Coach "encouraged" me to try the 800 and I did much better at the longer distance than the sprint. My favorite workouts began to be the "LSD" runs - Long, Slow, Distance.

Anyway - when I gained that nasty freshman 15, I decided to take up running again and fell in love with distance running. And I haven't looked back. I love love love half-marathons and while I enjoyed my first marathon, I'd like to do more before saying I'm in love with the 26.2 miles :)

Moral of the story - after I finish the 90 days of P90X, I'm going to use those workouts as cross training for running and swimming. If you want to get in shape and not leave the comfort of your home, P90X is pretty awesome. I'm not doing the diet, but I'm eating relatively healthier. Last night, we got BBQ at this awesome place in Urbana and I usually get the massive combo meal with pulled pork, 4 ribs, and 2 sides (mashed potato casserole and sweet potato fries) - I do end up taking leftovers home... usually... But last night, I tried the portabella mushroom burger with pesto and fresh goat cheese from the local goat farm (that I volunteered at briefly) with the side of sweet potato fries. So, I'm still eating the foods that I love, just not in the massive quantities that I do when I'm in heavier training!

Also, a friend of mine from school wants to do a triathlon, so he asked if I'd help him with his stroke - an excuse to get in the pool? Yes please. I'm SO excited to have a swim buddy!